What Have I Done?

Whatever it is, I done did it. Yep. Just ordered a bunch of stuff from Banana Republic and Gap. Heh. More on that in a second.

I didn’t even get around to explaining the first item on my list! Which was: a summer weekend skirt. Unfortunately, after combing seriously every decent clothing store online, I came up with nothing. Well, there was a miniskirt that I liked from Abercrombie and Fitch but (1) I’ve never worn/despised people who wear Abercrombie and Fitch all my life, and (2) I really wasn’t about to trust myself to buy a miniskirt online. No ma’am. I’ve got full thighs, and wearing a mini in public has the potential to be really scary and/or indecent. I’m trying to go for a more adult look here. So I made the adult decision to pass on the college sorority girl skirt. But not without a serious emoticon tear. :*(

Okay, I just went back and looked at that skirt, and I’m sad all over again. It could seriously go with a lot of stuff! Well, maybe when I get some more money in March. Or not.

Anyhow, apparently I’m just not in love with this season’s “colorblocking” and “granny print” skirt trends. But! I was checking Gap for about the zillionth time when I came across this skirt:

And for some reason, it caught my eye enough that I clicked on it…and, after much deliberation, bought it. One check off my list! Why did I buy it? Good question. It’s not something I would normally veer toward, and I may be sorry once it actually comes and I try it on. But it’s really sweet, isn’t it? And, might I add, I have a striped shirt just like the one the model is wearing. What else can I wear it with? Black. White. Heck, even grey. Maybe red? We’ll see. That’s the hardest part about creating a new wardrobe for myself: wearing it all creatively. If all else fails, I can cut the skirt down to knee-length, which I think would be ultra sweet.

Anyway, from there I checked out the sale section where, for the second time, I clicked on something I wouldn’t normally choose: snakeskin-print jeggings. (Or “legging jeans” as you in America call them.)

I first heard of jeggings from my almost-too-cool (and way more fashionable) 17-year-old Indian friend. It was like her job to keep up on these things, and, though I wasn’t sold immediately, I eventually resolved that I needed a pair for myself. Fun jeans, however, were number five on the list, after a basic white (and while I’m at it, black) t-shirt, a winter evening dress (read: Little Black Dress), and a fitted pullover for work. But they were on sale. And for some reason, I decided that I just had to have brown snakeskin-print jeggings! Well, apparently Mandy Kaling loves these exact same jeggings too. So there! I just hope they fit.

But I’m not done yet! Don’t worry, I didn’t go crazy. I just finished it off with the aforementioned basic white (and while I’m at it, black) t-shirt.

So, we shall see when it all arrives. One thing I’m committed to doing–which I hope will help me stand out as an exceptional Blogess, is to take pictures of myself wearing everything I buy, so that you can see what this stuff looks like on an average, not-model-sized lady. I’ll be completely honest with you, folks. I’m 5’4”, which is supposed to be the national average for height. I weigh more or less 130 lbs, and I’ve got a 28-ish” waist and 38-ish” hips. Now to wait!

There Is Good News, There Is Bad News

Well, the bad news is that this website address is now obsolete. A lot of things have happened in the last few days which have caused me to abandon my quest for the illustrious 100. Well, fine. One thing happened. I had a conversation (long and tearful, mind you) about how foolish it would be to up the clothing budget to any more than $60 a month once promotion time rolls around.

$60 a month! You might as well keep me back at $50. How much of a difference can ten lousy dollars make, anyway? Sigh. So I abandoned everything, knowing that it wouldn’t get much better than it already was. The clothing budget, I mean.

No, I haven’t given up fashion for good. In fact, it’s quite the contrary! I went home, picked up a new (or rather, old) fashion book, The Lucky Shopping Manual: Building and Improving Your Wardrobe Piece by Piece, and made a new list of clothing I need to buy. I also made sure to integrate my favorite pieces of the 100. So, no exorbitantly-priced Pucci dress or Missoni knit, no fur, (though, a bit of leather!), no cape, no man’s white t-shirt (because yes, I look hideous trying to pass one of Jarrod’s dress shirts off as “sexy”). None of that. It really brings the price of my dream wardrobe down quite a bit. I even arranged the list in order of how I’m planning on buying the pieces, making sure to keep the pricy leather items at the  very end. (Read: 12ish years from now.)

So what’s the good news? Oh, yeah. I’ve got a job interview tomorrow. And Jarrod said that if I got a job and pulled in some extra income, I could up the clothing budget to $100 a month. Dream wardrobe, here I come! (Ksh ksh ksh…*)

What am I wearing? Skinny jeans, again, white socks to keep my feet warm, and my pink smock top underneath my black v-neck cashmere sweater that desperately needs shaved. Oh, and my gold feather earrings and curled hair. Is that even still in style? Hmm.

*That is the sound of wood being knocked on.

The Sad Truth

Well, I worked it all out on paper just now. Went through all 100 items, wrote down the costs of the items I pinned, and then made a timeframe for the acquisition of The 100.

October 2020. That’s how long I’ll be here with you, folks. Eight years. Nine, really, if you count the fact that this year has hardly even begun.

2020 sounds like a long time from now, doesn’t it? I know. I’m depressed too. By the time I actually work my way through this crazy list of 100 things I just “have” to own, I will be a month shy of turning 36. 36! I’ll have babies by then! Babies, plural! My oldest could be in kindergarten!

Actually, I’m taking the news well. 2020 seems like a long way off, but actually, I don’t consider 36 to be incredibly old. Heck, at least my kid won’t be in high school! (…and scoffing at her mom for trying to be “cool”. Oh, to that little bug-eyed kindergartner, I will be so cool. Just you wait and see.) If I can really get my hands on all 100 of these items by the time I hit my mid-thirties, I’ll be impressed. Impressed, and happy. How many thirtysomethings wear designer shoes, unless they live in New York?

Oh, the other crazy thing? Jarrod’s commitment with the Air Force won’t even be up with the by then (that is, if he finishes pilot training as planned. Fingers crossed!)

I’m a bit worried about my clothing budget. Right now it’s $50/month–measly, I know, but it’s what poor newlyweds have to deal with, after all. Come June though, Jarrod will get a hefty promotion and the clothing budget will go up to $100/month. It should reach $200/month–provided that the husby approves of such a high clothing budget. I mean, I know of a million ways I could spend that money each month, but him? I’m not too sure that he’ll need so much money once he collects all of his high-price items, and when he does, he may balk at my receiving so much per month. Well.

Of course, few of the items will have to wait. For example, #9, the Blackberry. Now, first of all, I’m an iPhone girl. I had one in college, but what with being poor and not wanting to pay for a data plan, I got rid of it. But I want one again, and Nina Garcia says to adapt the list to what works for me personally, so there you go. #9 has turned into an iPhone. But I’m still poor, and still don’t want to pay for the data plan. Maybe when Jarrod reaches captain? Major? In any case, I’m not going to be getting an iPhone anytime soon.

The other glaring example is #40, the investment bag. Of course I’m in love with the Birkin bag by Hermes. Of course. And when I was looking up the cost of said bag, something went whacky and I misunderstood just how much those suckers cost. Yeah. Anywhere from $9,000 to $150,000.

I am not buying a Hermes Birkin bag anytime soon. I’d like to buy a house first.

I mean, I can’t even imagine carrying around that thing, knowing that what I have stuffed under my arm is worth the price of a luxury car!! What if I scuffed it? What if I lost it? Boy oh boy. It’s the bag I’ll buy when I hit bank with my noveling. Which reminds me. I’ve got three pages that aren’t writing themselves.

Oh yes, and I’ve decided to make a habit of telling you what I’m wearing each time I update. Someday I may even start drawing pictures for you. Today, I don the following: white skinny-ish jeans (in January! Scandalous!), a light blue sleeveless tank over which I am wearing my long, thin, grey Miley Cyrus for Walmart-brand cardigan, a navy scarf knotted around my neck, and dirty-looking socks that probably shouldn’t have survived India. Also, my hair is pulled back into a ponytail and any strays are held back with a white elastic headband, and I’m wearing my wooden peacock-feather earrings. The end.

Do I Really Need a Cape?

My husband dresses well. Me, on the other hand? I’m pretty clueless*. I’ve been trying for quite some time to figure out just what this “fashion” is, and how I can make it work for me. But, the harder I try, it seems, the harder I fail.

I found Nina Garcia’s book The 100 around Christmastime. Then I went through the entire thing and, using Pinterest, documented my entire 100 Dream Wardrobe. (Shoutout! Pinterest is awesome!) I have a tendency to become obsessed about things. I’ll just admit that right now. And so, of course, I’ve become obsessed about collecting every single piece that The 100 recommends buying.

Ridiculous, I know. Nina Garcia even says in her introduction that the list is right for her. Well then why did you write a book about it, lady? Come on.

And I know. I should just abandon the whole “fashion” thing and dress how I want to, in jeans and t-shirts every single day. Heck, even be a bit rebellious, refuse to conform to what some lady, who lives in New York, nonetheless, thinks I should buy. After all, do I really need a cape? How cool is animal print? When will I ever wear a caftan? And when did I start caring about designer names like Pucci and Missoni?

But at the same time…it’s cool. The list appeals to my geeky inner Emily, the one who wore a 101 Dalmations sweatshirt and Walmart Doc Martin knockoffs with socks in middle school. Like, maybe if I can get all of the 100, my life will somehow be better, and I’ll dress so fabulously that people won’t help but to compliment me. Ha. And besides that, it’s opened up a whole new world of clothing ideas to me! (Because, let’s face it, my style is bland, to say the least.) Bakelite bangles? Heck yes! And who knew that my pickiness for shoes and handbags is because I’m naturally drawn to the really expensive designer stuff? Or that I can actually pull off wayfarers!

So, for whatever reason, I have indeed decided to embark on this fabulous journey toward fashion completeness. Perhaps I will do some meditations on vanity while I’m on the way. You know, to keep myself in check. And yes, it will be a journey. Relying on my husband’s income only, my clothing budget for each month is currently $50 ($100 once Jarrod gets his promotion come June!). So unless I manage to make it big in the publishing world, expect this journey to go slow, folks.

Oh, and in alphabetical order. I’m not one for picking and choosing my favorites. That’s like eating dessert before the vegetables are finished. I’m going to go in order, starting with an A-Line Dress and ending with a Zippered Hoodie (perhaps when I’m 85). So stick with me people! My journey begins as soon as I manage to pick the perfect A-Line dress and save up the money for it!

*Honestly folks. You want to know what I’m wearing right now? I’m wearing a fitted grey scoopneck tee overtop my over-worn black lacy camisole, my favorite pair of Levi skinny jeans, a huge pair of bright green Peruvian knit socks pulled over my jeans and, to top it all off, a black jersey-knit tie robe. Oh, and a beaded necklace from India and some fake pearl earrings.